Uneasy Change
by Miss Meggie
Summary: Tim and Julie are friends, things start to change with a simple embrace the night of Jason's injury. A season 1 retelling with a Tulie twist! For Fleur27's Bday.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I own nothing, This is Fleur's belated birthday gift I hope she enjoys it. I have more of this planned if you guys are interested shoot me an email or review! Thanks- Meg.**

Julie hears the tell-tell smack of pads slamming together from her perch at the top left corner of the bleachers she looks up in time to see none other than Tim Riggins laying momentarily spread eagle on the field.

He is somewhat secretly one of her closest friends.

She rolls her eyes. "You think he'd learn by now." She mutters and scowls toward him though she knows he can't see or hear her.

Their friendship is an odd thing that happened in Jr. High in between picking up her books for her one day after Lyla Garrity had knocked them from her hands and her father's team dinners. She's never been able to truly understand why or how it works, it just does.

Maybe it's that she can see past his brokenness and his anger.

-/-/-/-

After practice he lumbers up to her spot. He turns the spine of her book up to read the title. "Moby Dick? It's about a fish right? You are weird Taylor." He sits down next to her.

"A man's quest to find a sperm whale actually," She leans in toward him. "People can see us you know?" Their friendship is neither dirty secret nor widely known, they prefer it that way. Rally girls are less likely to poison her food and the team won't give him hell for being sweet on the coach's daughter as well as the drunk who's late to practice.

The bad boy and the coach's daughter even she must admit its cliché.

He smirks at her waves to her father. "I feel like living dangerously Taylor."

She rolls her eyes. "You say that like it's a news flash Riggs." She musses his sweaty locks. "Leave me to Melville you stink…"

"I'd have a comeback but you are right I do,"

-/-/-/-

It's the first party of the season and he's sitting back in his chair when catches sight of a familiar blonde head. He glances at Jason making out with Lyla. "I'll be back." He goes to investigate and finds her dragging her nerdy obsessive and very drunk friend toward her parent's car. "Come on Lo, please." She begs and he grabs the girls other side.

"Need some help?"

"Please,"

"I saw Seven talking to you at Fran's gonna give him a fair shot?"

"Seven? Oh right the shy second stringer. You know my policy."

"You're so hot like, lava or something…" the drunken girl babbles.

"Thanks, "he mutters.

"I'm a football player."

"No, you're just Tim." They stuff Lois into the car.

"Where do they think you are?" he asks and Lois reaches through the open window to touch his face. "So lovely," She murmurs and he backs away. Julie laughs, "They think I'm getting milk for mom's coffee. She likes you." She nods at Lois.

"Great! "He mutters. "I'll see you."

"You know it. Tim?"

He looks up from staring at his feet. "Hm,"

"Take a cab."

"Lyla's sober." She nods.

-/-/-/-

She has been to many a game in her life and she knows her what her father's tightened expression means even better than his currently dejectedly players do.

They had gone into the game against the westerly Chaps sure of victory, but getting inflated egos does them no favors and they are down at the half.

When they return it is with fire in their eyes and Tim is talking no prisoners. Westerby makes a play for the ball and they are stopped thunderously. To the point that in the chaos she looks for Tim and is relieved to find him making his way to his feet. She survey's further and sees Jason Street lying near the 20 yard line. He is deathly still and the entire stadium goes resoundingly silent.

They players rush off the field as though injury is contagious and the medics and coaching staff take their place.

Lyla Garrity is screeching at Jason to get up. Somewhere in the back of her mind is a snide comment and the urge to slap some sense into the girl but she crushes it and zeroes in on Tim standing motionless seemingly barely breathing.

The second string quarterback who'd attempted to flirt with her pulls out the win by the skin of his teeth. No one seems to truly care with halfhearted cheers it's clear their minds are on that fallen ticket to state Jason Street!

-/-/-/-

She can never decide what it is that makes her hate hospitals maybe it's the death covered by lemon scent or the fact that no matter how old you get you carry the residual fear of someone stabbing you with a needle or prodding you with something equally terrifying.

She wanders the halls and she's not consciously in search of Tim or so she tells herself but she is worried about him.

She finds Lyla leaned against a wall sobbing she's not heartless, she cares just…not enough. Soon enough Lyla Garrity may have to learn this isn't about her…and Garrity is the kind girl who thinks you'll get a good life because you deserve one. That's not how it works.

She's been hanging around Tim to long she supposes but it's still true coddling her will do her no favors besides where are her parents?

She squeezes Lyla's arm and walks by wordlessly.

She wanders further down the hall and finds a supply closet with its door cracked, she peers in and there stands Tim hands on his hips staring hard at row after row of hospital gowns. She steps in and closes the door.

The room goes dark and he startles. "Just me."

He nods and she waits for her eyes to adjust to the lack of light. Then she tentatively steps to him and hugs him. They aren't big on physical affection but some part of her knows he needs this and he would never ask. So she holds on tight arms around his waist her face pressed into his chest. She just waits and breathes waits and breathes, he smells of axe and the tiny room smells overwhelmingly of bleach.

She wonders idly if every time she mops or scrubs a toilet from now on if she will thinks of this.

He sighs like he's tired of fighting; his arms come around her shoulders and he hugs back. "Jules." He says his voice shakes ever so slightly and his chin comes to rest on the crown of her head. She knows what he's asking with that one word.

"Tim, I don't know how or why or what it all means but I do know it's going to be okay again someday, trust it, and trust me okay?"

"Okay." He murmurs pressing his lips into her hair. They stand like that silently holding one another for who knows how long.

It feels safe in this tiny closet like nothing has changed as long as they remain inside but they both know change is barreling toward them so they hold on and wait.


	2. Chapter 2

Julie Taylor is standing on his doorstep in her lacy white Sunday dress and cowboy boots. Her tan legs out for god and all to see. Her hair is in those braids he likes.

He really shouldn't let her in, they're friends and he's having more than friendly thoughts right now but maybe that's the beer and she's carrying a cake tin so he lets her in anyway.

"Hey Jules, what's that?" he steps aside to let her in

"Mrs. Frawley's strawberry bread with the cream cheese spread. Ya gotta love potluck days. "They sit down and leans over and sniffs him.

"Why do you smell like gunpowder?"

"Went shooting with Billy."

"It help any?" He shrugs and she grabs the paper plate stack sitting on the coffee table. "Knives?"

He gets up to retrieve a knife. "Helped a little how was church?"

"It was alright, everybody prayed for Jason which certainly can't hurt, then there was the sermon about accepting god's trials and or blessings without questioning him. "She forked up a bite of strawberry bread. "Buddy Garrity cornered Dad and started in on whether or not Little Matt Saracen" could carry us to state. That's pretty much word for word by the way. Buddy is a pompous jerk living in the past."

"No argument there Taylor." He says while shoving food into his mouth. "Classy," she murmured.

He smirked at her his mouth still full. "I hate this town," her eyes narrow. "A kid probably got paralyzed last night, his life completely changed and this town cares about football above all else. Even their star player who was destined for greatness rates below it. No one has any perspective." She took another bite.

"The town is comforting, it never changes the people can be idiots though I will give you that." Tim said and Julie was stunned into silence. "I can make sense now and again." He added before picking up the remote to turn on Sports center.

They sit in silence for a bit Tim with his ESPN and Julie with her book when he finally speaks again. "What if he'll never walk again Jules? Or play ball?"

"Then He's going to need more than prayer to get him through Timmy." She loves how even in deep conversation Tim refuses to look away from the TV

-/-/-/-

She forgot one of her books in her locker and her Dad needs the offensive line play book off of his desk, so she's hurriedly walking through the darkened halls. The school creeps her out when it is abandoned but she knew if she let her father go in they'd never leave.

She cuts down the hall that leads through the heart of the field house and back to her Dad's office. She sees pale light flash on the walls of the projection room. She looks in to see and Tim sitting alone watching Jason's accident on repeat.

His shoulders shake just slightly. "Shit." She murmurs and drops her book. She goes to him because she can't stop herself. Tim doesn't cry, ever. She has to touch him, has to fix this.

She brushes some of his lank sweaty hair behind his ear. "Don't do that this isn't your fault what so ever." He quickly uses his shirt to wipe his eyes.

"Feels like it is." He sniffs and shies away from her touch.

"It's not; a proper tackle is the first thing they teach. Only hit what you see right? Jason didn't it was an accident. You could have been inches from him and that wouldn't change the tackle Tim, a split second choice and Jason got sloppy. It's sad as hell Tim but it isn't on you."

He clears his throat. "What are you doing here?"

"I forgot my algebra book and Dad needed his playbook."

"I'm okay now, you can go."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine I promise." He won't look at her.

"Call me if you need me."

"Alright."

She reluctantly leaves him.

-/-/-/-

The next night after dance practice she's eating a wilted salad with Lois when Tim walks in with Tyra Collette. She'd check on him but there's something about the Collette girl that sends out stay away vibes.

"You're friends with him right?" Lois says.

"I'm not setting you up with him Lo!" Julie rolls her eyes.

"Why not!"

"Because, the guy he is with me? Won't be the guy you get."

"And what makes you different?" Lois asks sounding a tad spiteful.

"We understand each other. It's something I can't and don't feel like explaining." She states

She's far enough away that she can't hear Smash's smack talk but she can read Tim's stride and it doesn't add up well for Smash.

Tim murmurs something lowly and Brian replies. Tim nods replies before walking away. "Smile Riggs, god don't like ugly." Smash says loudly. Tim turns and pitches the glass from his table at Brian's head it misses shattering against the window.

They're nose to nose and trying to fight when Julie makes it to her feet. They get them separated before she can get to Tim.

He strides past her. "Tim." He looks up and she tries to ask with her eyes if he's okay. He grits his teeth and nods.

She exhales when he leaves. Lois looks on seemingly fascinated. Suddenly Julie is annoyed with absolutely everything in her life.

-/-/-/-

Her parents told her the night before that Jason is paralyzed. She feels a sorrow for Jason that she can't explain even to herself. It feels like a giant weight lies on her chest, knowing this life altering thing that Tim doesn't know yet.

She carries it anyway.

Teachers tell students in the last class of the day. With sadness pulling at their eyes and somber offers to talk if they need it. She looks out the window of her algebra class, it sits catty corner to the field house and she sees Tim running like the hounds of hell are chasing him.

"May I be excused." She doesn't wait for a reply just lets Mrs. Daniels assume she needs a good cry and sets off to find Tim in what passes for a very fast walk.

She finds him after running down the football field, at the very top left corner of the home bleachers.

"You're in my spot!" she says gently.

"I can't talk." He replies voice thick

"Okay." She sits down next to him. She grabs his hand from where it's resting on his knee. She intertwines their fingers and holds his hand tight.

They sit like that silently holding hands for at least twenty minutes before he finally speaks.

"Everything will change."

She takes a deep breath. "I won't." He just squeezes her in in reply.

* * *

**AN: I own nothing. I know these chapters are short and I'm sorry for that but I'm building a story with absolutely nothing to go on so it's a tad difficult but please stick with me! Thanks for all the reviews and alerts if you like it, please shoot me another one!-Meg**


	3. Chapter 3

Julie goes with Lois to the pancake breakfast for Jason's to pay for his medical bills. She sits down and tries to eat pitiful excuses for pancakes and half burned sausage,

She wrinkles her nose. "What I wouldn't give for some tofu sausage."

"Cheer up Julie the view is nice." Lois said as Smash walked by.

Julie scanned the room for Tim's lanky form but can't find it. She groans she's here for two reasons buying the obligatory pancakes that will appease her parents, and Tim Riggins.

She pulls her phone from her bag. She sends him a text. "Where are you? I'm here to provide moral support without anyone to support."

"I'm there in spirit, Taylor." Comes back quickly with an irksome little smiley face following it.

"Asshole." Julie murmurs

"What?" Lois asked with eyebrows raised.

"Tim being Tim. I need a ride, do you mind?"

"Nope I don't mind let's roll."

She manages to give Mrs. Street the slip when Pam Garrity stops her to talk. She's not so lucky when it comes to Matt though. She turns directly into him. "Julie I was just going to get some pancakes. Would you wanna sit with me?"

"I can't I was just leaving but some other time? Sorry." She offers him an apologetic smile.

-/-/-/-

The football field was empty and Billy had told her while half drunk and in his skivvies that Tim wasn't home so it was an easy process of elimination to find him at the quarry. They pass Tyra Collette on the way up the road.

They park. "Stay in the car Lois." Julie states watching Tim drive beer cans off into the quarry with a golf club.

"But-"

"Please." She unbuckles and gets out of the car at the sound of the door slamming Tim perks up.

"I'm perfectly fine with being broke up Tyra you can't guilt me." He says swinging at another can,

"Not Tyra." He looks over his shoulder at the sound of her voice as she walks toward him picking her way carefully over craggy rocks.

"What are you doing here?" he leans on the club and looks her over.

"Checking on you." She steps closer and can smell the yeasty tang of beer on him.

"I don't need a baby sitter Julie." He retorts spitefully his eyes narrowing at her.

"Yeah how about a friend? You need one of those?" She crosses her arms and peers up at him. She pushes further. "I'm sure Jason could use one!"

"Jesus Christ not you too! Lyla, Tyra you, Mrs., freaking Street all sad eying me and giving me a guilt trip. Making me feel bad. Can't you all just give it a rest!" his hands grip the club but he doesn't toss it off the cliff like Julie knows he wants too.

"No I can't give it a rest Tim because you're being destructive." She states trying to rein herself in but it isn't really working.

"That's what I do Julie you know that it's who I am."

"It might be what you do but it sure as fuck isn't who you are and you know it Tim! You played last week's game drunk! I saw you lugging the beer on to the back of the bus where my Dad couldn't see."

"So what! I play hung over all the time and no one in this town gives a shit!" He shouts.

"That wasn't a hangover and we both know it."

"Why do you care? Where the hell do you get off precious little Julie Taylor telling me what to do?"

She laughs dryly. "Where do I get off? Did you really just ask me that? I get to call you on because you are my best friend and I care what happens to you! What if you'd hurt yourself or worse someone else! Jason accident is not your fault but drinking yourself into a near stupor and playing football is your fault!" She yelled back.

"No one asked you to care!"

"Sometimes I wonder why I do Tim. I'll tell Jason you'll be there when you get around to it." She turns to leave.

"It's not that easy." He said and she turned back.

"If it was everyone would have lifelong friendship. Life's unfair Tim and change is hard I thought you of all people knew that."

When Julie returns to the car Lois is leaned up over the wheel listening intently. "First fight?"

"No."

"Lover's quarrel?"

"Shut up Lois!" she sniped with a groan.

-/-/-/-

Eric Taylor is not really that much of a talker when it comes down to it but Julie knows how to read him the set of his jaw and squint of his eye says something is on his mind. He and Tim are the same that way which if she dwells on it too long it becomes unsettling for…reasons.

She shifts forward to turn down the volume of Slammin' Sammy smack talk. "Something on your mind Dad?"

"Why do ask?" he stares straight ahead glancing up as if willing the stop light to change.

"You've got the I'm trying to plan for everything look going it's very unique to you."

"It is not. That's not-"he sputters looking over at her. "Have you talked to Riggins lately?"

"We got into a fight and aren't speaking." She glances out the window and watches The Alamo Freeze slip slowly from view.

"No need to get snippy baby, I'm just asking. What did you fight about?"

"I care too much and Tim doesn't care enough. At least not for himself." She bites her thumb nail.

He nods and works over his chewing gum. "He walked off my field today, you got any idea why?"

Julie groaned. "You're not breakin' a confidence Jules just helping me to help him is all."

"I know that he feels really guilty about Jason's accident. We don't really talk about it not his feelings about it anyway. I've caught him crying and he refuses to see Jason. I told him he was in no way at fault but once Tim gets something in his head, that's it. That's the way it is and now I'm afraid I've pushed too hard with our fight." She gestures around her then sets her hands in her lap.

"Are you in the right?" he puts on his blinker and turns.

"I probably should have said it some other way but he needed to be called on something and I did it. I'm not sorry I just shouldn't have been so ready for the fight. Tongue already sharpened you know."

Eric sighed. "You get the I'm going to do the right thing and call you on your bullshit from your mother so yes I do. Sometimes Tim needs to be pushed Jules don't shy from it that's being a good friend but don't be mean either Darlin'." He advises.

"Yes sir. I- no one can get under my skin quite like Tim Riggins."

Something about the statement set Eric's teeth on edge. "That just means you care baby." He replies docilely.

-/-/-/-

They haven't spoken in days and it is really starting to grate on Tim's nerves. Normally he would never apologize first but its Julie and he does a lot of things for her he wouldn't do for anyone else.

He knows she's waiting for coach by their car. So after practice he showers and heads out then the vending machine next to the field house catches his eye.

-/-/-/-

She stands against their car door that's verging on to warm and watches Tim amble lazily directly to her.

"Hey." She angles her head to look up at him and realizes how close they are. He's so in her space she can smell the axe meets clean sweat scent that lingers on his skin after practice. He's not even touching her and she can feel him. That's just Tim even when he's silent and broodily staring at her he takes up every bit of space he's in. it has always made her feel secure with him, reassured.

She realizes she's staring and starts again. "I owe you-"

"No you don't Jules, you're right I shouldn't play drunk in fact…" he holds up a bottle of root beer. "Peace offering."

She laughs. "You're somethin' Riggs."

He grinned and shrugged a shoulder. "I liked the irony." He said. She took the bottle opened it and took a swig before passing it back to him.

"I shouldn't have made the jab about Jason though, I'm sorry."

He took a swig, "Right bout that too…I know I need to see him I just…" he passed it back.

"You can't and that's okay, just don't wait too long or he'll think it matters to you and not in a good way."

He nods. "I hear you."

She sipped and smirked against the bottle. "If sharing this root beer gives me mono I'll tell Mom Lucy Tavers does your homework."

"If I give you mono Taylor it's gonna be because I kissed you." He teased smiling at her.

"You two make up?" Eric asked approaching.

"Yes, sir. See ya Taylor." He ruffled her ponytail and walked off.

"Bye Timmy." She called to his back smiling.

-/-/-/-/-/-

**AN: I own nothing. Sorry for the delay I had a serious case of writers block. Sorry the chapters are so short but I hope you enjoyed and if you did please leave me a review it'd be much appreciated.-Meg**


End file.
